40 thoughts after midnight

As some of you know and others don’t, one of my part-time jobs is being a night receptionist in a hotel. I basically just sit here and do nothing, unless the waiters get lazy and I have to clean instead of them.

To tell you the truth I have no idea how I’ll write this post because I’m writing it after midnight, at work, seriously sleep deprived, as this is my 4^th night in a row that I’m awake. So yeah, today I’ll share my adventures and thoughts that pop into my head when I’m forced to be awake.

Welcome in my head.

#1
Oh great… I have 4 buckets of silverware to polish. How can they (waiters) be so lazy, they literally did nothing in the last hour since I’m here. It’ll take me a whole night to do it alone…

#2
Done, done, done! MOVIE NIGHT!!!!
What should I watch? …
There’s literally nothing I’d be interested in watching right now…
Why..

#3
I think my brain’s fried… /laughs like an idiot at nothing/

#4
Oh come on, I locked my key card inside…
How can I get in?….
There should be the thingy to open those locks somewhere…
/finds the thingy/
I need a password for it… No one ever told me the pass for this thing…
Luckily I have the whole night to figure it out…
/doors magically unlocks after 5 min of trying, I still don’t know the password/
#5
Would people mind if I’d start blasting music at 3am?…

#6
I wonder what would happen if I’d schedule some tweets on hotels twitter profile….

#7
/spams my twitter with music videos/

#8
/foreign guests walk in and no one knows English/
Just give me our ID’s or passports or something. I’ll improvise.
No worries just get in your room and leave me alone. I don’t understand you…
What language do you speak anyway?

#9
/older foreign guest rushes to me and starts explaining something/
Please stop talking, I don’t know what you’re saying.. Just show me…
/leads me to her room/
How in the hell did your adult daughter lock herself in the bathroom, when there are NO KEYS in the bathroom doors?! (We removed the keys so this couldn’t happen)
I need to find the key…
/tells the woman in the bathroom that I have to find the key and leaves/
There’s like hundred bathroom keys, how am I supposed to know which one to use?!
Screw it, I’m breaking in that bathroom with a screwdriver.

#10
No, I can’t make you food.
No, I don’t have it…
No, the kitchen is out of order until the cook gets to work.
It’s 3 am, what’s wrong with you?!

#11
I need sleep…..

#12
So hyper /running through the empty hallways/

#13
I’m sleep deprived and I feel funny…..
Like a drunken chick in the back of a Hummer…

#14
I walk a lonely road.
The only one that I have ever known.
Don’t know where it goes.
But it’s home to me and I walk alone….

#15
I could totally have a radio show, but I can’t cause ya’ll would need subtitles to understand my crappy spoken English.
#16
I wonder if people would mind if I’d try to hypnotize them…
#17
Coworker: Hey girl!
Coworker: Oi, can you….
Coworker: Get your skinny ass over here
Coworker: Night girl, you’re needed in the kitchen.
(He can’t remember my name no matter what, c’mon dude, I work with you for almost a year.)
#18
Coworker: When guests come they will be drunk ignore them and lock the bar. They will get here straight from the festival.
Me: What if..
Him: No. Lock the bar and lock yourself in the reception cabin. From now on you don’t speak English.
Me: How about German?
Him: No they are Germans… Just ignore them so they’ll go to their rooms as soon as possible.
(It was sweet cause he seemed worried haha)
#19
Oh…  A security camera…
Why is the security feed screen in the basement? No one checks it here. I’d need that in my cabin so I could keep an eye on everything…
#20
Why is there security feed from the camera outside freely accessible on the internet?
#21
Maybe I should go out…
/hears weird noises and remembers that the hotel is literally in the middle of nowhere/
Nope, nope, nope… I don’t want to die.
#22
/Thoughts while in arguments online/

• Have you even read what I wrote. I’m not from your country and my country has different rules for what you’re describing.
• Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, hon…
• You can’t just say it’s and scientific fact for something that you just made up!
• I’m too tired for this…
• What if I would just… Not hold back anymore… Wait, no I don’t want to be blamed for any mental damage.

 

#23
It’s midnight and you’re watching the “Twisted after midnight”
#24
Twitter’s always the same… It doesn’t get creepy after midnight…
#25
I’ll just spam my friend on Skype, she’ll only notice it in the morning anyway.
#26
What should I do if something goes wrong here? … Run, I’d definitely just run, guests can take care of themselves.
#27
This German guy is extremely drunk, but fun… It’s interesting to talk to him, but at the same time, I need him to go sleep already.
#28

• Please, please, please. Try to pick only one language to speak in. I know you’re German, but your german infused English is really hard to understand…
• Yes, I understand German, no I can’t speak it…
• Okay fine, I’ll attempt to give some CPR to my half dead German skills and attempt to communicate with you in German… Because I have no idea what you’re trying to say when you attempt to speak English.

 

#29
1 Lemon, 2 lemons, 3 Tequila shots.
4 cups, 5 cups, Vodka and Scotch.
#30
I want coffee…
/press random button on the coffee machine/
How do you even use this thing…
#31
I’m hungry, why isn’t there any food left…
Maybe I could just eat potato chips…
That’s way too expensive. I’ll rather stay hungry.. what the heck…
#32
You seem interesting… I wonder what your name is… Oh, nevermind I have your ID.
#33
Just smile and nod, smile and nod… It’s in your job description to be nice to guests, so you can’t yell at him and send him to bed.
#34
I’m mentally killing you right now… I am inventing new ways to kill you right now
#35
I’m so bloody tired. I feel like my asshole part just got a free ticket out and my nice part is hiding somewhere… Please don’t let anyone come right now because I’ll be really mean to them.
#36
You smell nice. Can I hug you and use you as a pillow?
#37
I should write about the Bible in my next blog… And about people and aliens and animals and … Oh, that’s a nice picture!
#38
I wonder what (insert name) is doing…
#39
I don’t know why I keep complaining about this job, It’s not that bad…
/5 min later/
I’m so tired this is the worst job ever!!!
#40
/at 6am/
I’m coming home, coming home.
Tell the world I’m coming home.

 

P.s.: All that’s written before this paragraph was written while I was at work. I did not edit it, or read it because I might change my mind if I did, also I want to keep it the way I wrote it the first time. I might embarrass myself with this post, but I don’t really care. I hope you enjoyed it. Don’t make me regret posting this haha.