Bullying


As promised last time, I’ll write about bullies today! Warning: I will use “strong” vocabulary…

Bullying:

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing.

Bullies:

Bullies, we all know they exist; some of us maybe even had them or still have them. But anyone ever though who are they? I mean who those bullies really are and what they want? Why did they pick you as their victim and not someone else? I’m sure those thoughts rushed through your head countless of times.

Well, first of all, bullies are people, humans, just like you and me. They are not better or worse, they are exactly like we are, simply people, acting by human nature.

But then again, why do they bully. Well, they bully to feel powerful, to feel like they achieved something like they overpowered someone. They do it to show off in front of others, in front of people they know, to secure their “position” as a strong individual or as a group (with a leader who usually starts the bullying). They bully to show “who’s the boss” either in school, class, hallway, some group, any other place, or to a random newbie, who just happens to be there.

No matter if it’s bullying at school, bullying at I-don’t-know-what-place or cyber bullying, bullies will always brag about what they did and they will expect to get praised for it. And that’s usually their weak spot, you just have to know how to use it, but no, being an asshole towards a bully won’t work, so just don’t do that, you’ll end up in a shower of curses and name calling, along with ‘force feeding’ you stuff that will hurt you.  Want to know how to peacefully get away from bullies? I’ll tell you that, but first, let’s clear out the victim part.

Victims:

Bullies randomly chose their victims that seem easy enough to overpower. (Get ready for the harsh truth now.) Meaning that yes, it is kind of your fault that people are picking on you, but NO, it’s not because you’re ugly or unwanted or whatever. That seriously is bullshit that bullies say because simply they just need to say something that hurts and that get to you. So whatever they say either if you think it’s true or not and even if it is true, they are just using it to manipulate you, so it’s easy to knock you down. Why it is “your fault” is because you’re making yourself a target, subconsciously.

So what can put you on the bullying list:

  • You seem to be insecure and your insecurity is visible on like a mile away
  • You’re new and don’t have your group of friends
  • You’re a loner, seriously if you are a loner, then at least make yourself invisible, being alone just makes you pop out in the crowd
  • You can be easily labeled as one of the ‘unwanted’ or ‘un-cool’ labels in school, plus you don’t have any ‘useful’ friends.
  • You’re loud and annoying constantly reminding people about yourself, yet, in reality, you’re seriously insecure about yourself (Yes people notice.)
  • You’re keeping up the tough act, while you know that you couldn’t actually do anything when you’d be needed to act. (Also noticeable…People might not know what it is, but they sure know that they can abuse it.)

If you don’t want to become a potential target and victim of bullying, I’d suggest you that you keep it real. Hang out with your friends and try to not let people’s comment’s get to you if someone does get mean, just smile and simply say “Thank you!”. Because the more of an asshole you get the more of an ego boost they have.

Of course, there are factors that you can’t change. After all, some people bully others simply because of their race, sexuality, skin color, beliefs, or your disability. If this is the case for you, well it’s not your fault. The person is honestly just being an idiot.

Alright now on to the bullying… Let’s put it into three categories: School bullying, work bullying, and cyber bullying.

1.School Bullying

If anyone ever said to you that you should tell a teacher, principal or parents about your bullying, well it doesn’t help and it never will… However, you need to tell those people because they need to know about the bullying, so they can act accordingly…

There’s actually little or close to nothing that they can do. It’s simply because they have no power over those people. Ever experienced a teacher getting aimlessly teased by his/her students? It would happen the same if a teacher or any of the above would try to stop bullying. They might stop it for a day or  two, but after that, the bullying would get worse with the insight of the ‘mistake’ of bringing a teacher in the matter.

Since we all know that bullying is to show power and dominance also to tell people “this is my school doesn’t mess with me”, the easiest way to stop it, is for students to get involved. Meaning the victim alone to stand up, backed up by friends and other schoolmates. Bullying can easily get out of the ‘school system’ if students simply work against it… But of course, no one ever thinks of that because most people are hardwired to think only for their own good.

2. Work bullying

In this case, It’s good to tell your boss/superior (report the bully), because they are responsible for your wellbeing.  If you don’t want to directly frame the person or make them lose their job, you can always put in a complaint that will (or should) kick start some action. If nothing else works, consult with human resources.

3. Cyberbullying

In cyber bullying the matter is easy. BLOCK/IGNORE THE SUCKER! Ok, at first, you can have someone to reason with him/her, for example, a friend, or some other random stranger on the internet who just so happened to get involved. If that won’t work then there is no reason for you to not block or ignore that person. You have all the rights to do so, you have the right to feel good on the site you’re on. If you don’t have the opportunity to block that person, for I don’t know what reason, delete the account and make a new one. It’s simple as that. Don’t want to lose your friends? Find them after you make a new account, tell them that you’ll make a new account, your health and happiness is more important than the blippin’ account. Get it over with!

Now of course bullying is wrong. But it’s also a part of who we are as people. Even monkeys bully each other… And other animals do it too. But yeah, we are the “advanced” species, we could have already evolved past this. However, we haven’t, because those who bully go along with their primal instinct to “protect their habitat”. It’s not always to protect it from you, but with showing how “tough” they are, the chances of other people messing with them is lowered.

Also no matter how many anti-bullying websites or protests or whatever, people are doing, are made. We can’t just eliminate bullying, without changing the whole mentality of entire human race. And so far, we kinda suck at doing that…

For more info check out
www.stopbullying.gov
http://www.bullying.co.uk/

 

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49 thoughts on “Bullying

  1. What a great blog, true my child has been labeled as a bully because she has different views and likes to debate. Others think that she’s too aggressive and she should conform to their perception of appropriate behaviour. What she has learned to do is; as politely as possible, to smile and just walk away. No matter what we say to the school they choose to ignore it and just put the blame on us and my child. They’re saying that it is my child’s fault because apparently my childs tone is offensive. So finally after many complaints and emails the child who is bothering my child was asked to stay away and not engage. However this child continues and ignores the warnings and continues to approach my child. It now has become harassment. When I complained again the principal in the school said to me “what do you want me to do about it, expel the child”? Now my child has become a victim and this other child has the power to still taunt my child. No matter what you do speaking to the school doesn’t work if they have already predetermined or decided that it’s not a problem and choose to ignore it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Annie she tried to speak to the other child but that didn’t work. She has also attended meetings with the principal that didn’t work. Our next step is to speak to the superintendent of our area but I have a feeling that it will be a battle as well.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What’s worst is when teachers don’t do anything to help the victims. I went through it as a ballet dancer when I was a child. No one corrected the girl and she bullied a lot of us. It was annoying.

    Like

  3. What a great topic to share. Now that the Internet is so popular bullying has climbed up tremendously. It’s bad to be bullied in school. I would know because it happened to me when I was in middleschool. But it’s worse now-a-days is it doesn’t stop at school they continue to do it on their social media pages.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m 13 years old and I get bullied, I get bashed at school every day. I get thrown in the classrooms and the kids hate me. I don’t go to school anymore as my mum is refusing to send me back to the school I was originally at. I have lots of friends out of school but the kids at my school are just so rude and just want to make themselves feel more powerful over me.

    Like

  5. From what I’ve learned on my years making You Tube videos, you can’t let the bullies bother you, because when you do, they will come after you with an even stronger vengeance. I’ve known other You Tube video creators who would make videos telling the bullies to stop; yet, they wouldn’t. That’s the wrong way about it. With me, I told them to bring it one because I really didn’t care. You know what it did? It made them forget about me and move on to some weak person. There is one video creator who keeps telling people she’s the victim of bullying; however, she’s the one bullying herself. With that said, over the years, I’ve run across all types of bullies. MIcro-managers, neighbors, even kids from school and the one common denominator is, they have no self respect. They’re bitter people and in order for them to feel good about themselves, they need to make others feel like shit. Pretty sad.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Bullying is such a horrible thing to experience and I can’s really imagine what a victim goes through facing it. These Bullies are just sick and they have so much reasons behind it and school bullying is something which could absolutely destroy someone’s life, if it is not dealt properly.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As you have said, bullying is a mentality of persons who are insecure about themselves. Change will require parents looking in the mirror, getting help for their issues before they pass them and more on to children. Thanks for a comprehensive post.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Unfortunately we still have a long way to go before we can say that we have ended bullying. It all starts at home, how the kids are raised and how they are taught to see others. What’s sad is that the ones bullied would have to live with the scars for life and those who bullied them can easily move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Bullies suck. But, like you say, to some extent you have to not allow yourself to be bullied! That’s easier said than done though. Easy for me because I’m confident enough to challenge people, but I recognise that not everyone has that confidence.

    Lorna | eatmyyythoughts.blogspot.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve found that with most bullies it’s their own insecurities they see in you and they project that onto you sometimes causing violence, verbal abuse etc just to feel better about what makes them feel “crap”. My way of dealing with it was to just ignore what they say, not let it get to me and go have a good time with my friends. Having fun and making memories outweighed anything negative they had to say to me because their opinion didn’t matter all that mattered to me was what my friends and I thought about each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. what an insightful post. I was bullied at school because I was self-conscious of the way I looked as I am a minor spina bifida so have a small bump on my lower back. I was then emotionally bullied by my ex partner. I suddenly became a person who stood up held my head high and said to myself I am alive and I will live my life the way I want to.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I absolutely hate bullying in every of it’s form and I can’t just wrap my head around it, why would someone want to hurt others that way? I’ve always thought that it’s because of the bullies background, but it’s not always the scenario. I fight against all kinds of bullying and I wish I could make it stop. That’s just too sad that it’s a thing that one person can’t do alone, or don’t know how. It still exists. And it sucks.
    I’ve never been bullied or been a bully, but I’ve seen people get bullied and I’ve talked to plenty of people who have been bullied and that’s probably the worst thing one can do to one. It wrecks emotionally, even if bullying was just physical.

    ~ Jasmin N
    Little Things With Jassy
    Bloglovin’

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wonderful post! I was bullied in elementary school because I was tall..stupid reason, of course, but I used my height to set them straight! Never messed with me again! 😊 Bullies suck!

    Like

  14. Thanks so much for writing about this. Bully’s suck! I was bullied as a girl because I was “too nice” and it was perceived as weakness. I totally agree with you that you can’t really fight fire with fire. Their whole point is to try to get to you and you just have to stop giving them the time of day. Misery loves company and if anything, it makes you feel sorry for them.

    Liked by 1 person

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